i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize