Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
