Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is Oprah even human
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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