her vagine was all disorganized.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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