I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize