The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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