Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
