So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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