im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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