just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
