This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
