Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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