i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
