I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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