I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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