I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
