Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
