I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
