his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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