U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
