I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
