So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
