Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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