I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
