Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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