I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize