We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize