I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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