it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
