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Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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