the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well most of my day revolves around power hour
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
