was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
