No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize