The best revenge is premature balding
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize