we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize