i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
