You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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