if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
