the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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