even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize