I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
