I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
