It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had to cum in my sink.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
