so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
