We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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