Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
