Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
