She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
