I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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