puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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