you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
