I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize