only you would photoshop your dick
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
