Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
