Dual....:-)
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
