I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
