this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
