no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
