Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
