i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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