do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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