I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he puts the penis in happiness.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
