Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
