ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
